乞力马扎罗

事都办完了，很累，还是去看了场电影，《最爱》。电影写的是真正的人性，最本质的人性，剥去了一切的赤裸裸的人性。在电影里，我哑然的笑了几次，不是因为好玩，苦笑，也流了几次眼泪。爱很重要，它可以维持生命，延长生命，其实它本身就是生命。 

    人们总是喜欢追问生命的意义，艺术如此，艺术家更是如此。什么是真正的感情？真情？真诚？这些日子，也有了更多的体会。先是从山开始，看到了山的公和母，自然的造化。这个公母，可不是象形的，是气象，是可以包容，又可以给予的气象。看到了云的阴阳，雨的两面，树的雄雏，一切的镜像，可能这就是世界的本质，这些是在山间体会到的。在飞向云端的时候，看到的其实不是我们能力所达到的景象，能看到，但是不能深入，所以说我特别想身临其境，飞出机仓外，和真正的大自然融合。是要去跳伞吗？暂时还没有这个考虑。

但是，这种升腾的感觉，一直激荡我的心，激荡我的笔触，思绪，情绪，这几天的事真多，我选择了面对，必须面对。人性有很多特殊的体面，过去我们画画，强调的是块面，受光面，明暗交界线，这些都是外在的结构，艺术通过这些结构深入到每个人的内心。看起来每个人都在画这个面，甚至在画同一个面，但是深入的程度，描绘得程度，体会的程度，完全不一样。每一个切面，都是人性的折射，这是艺术，或者说这是艺术的方法。当你不在纸上面描绘人，只是凭肉眼去观察人，或者遇到了必须处理的事情，必须面对的人，那种深刻有的时候你会隐约的觉得超过了画面，所以艺术家会提炼，让艺术源于它，又高于它。这个过程很奇妙，生活和艺术有的时候泾渭分明，有的时候又很模糊，其实生活本身就是艺术，看每个人的体会。

人都是要死的，《最爱》里的主人公，他们每天都在面对这个问题，因为觉醒，让他们会觉得生命更有意义，也因为绝望，让他们会觉得生命无可奈何。导演会用镜头把人推的很远，远到和群山融为一体。有三次美丽的大全景，一次是清晨，云雾缭绕；一次是午间，雄浑辽远；一次是傍晚，美丽沧桑；好像还有一次是夜里。当人淹没在群山里，这个视觉经验是电影给的，一个旁观者的角度。我常常在想当我们看到远处景物的时候，万物似乎都被掩映，我看到了它们，我也想，它们中我也在。

新的计划产生了，去更远的地方，攀登更高的山，体会更加空灵的生命，深刻的生命。

我过去对去遥远的雪山，高原，去攀登的行为不能有太多的理解，认为他们是敢于冒险的人，身体好。因为身体好所以要去攀登更高的峰，今天突然明白了，攀登和身体无关，它是对意志意念的考验。攀登不是爬山，攀登是理想。

一直以来我的梦想是宇宙旅行，现在看来最近的理想是乞力马扎罗，想到它就觉得特别有力。不知道为什么，这次的愿望是这么强烈。

Things done, I feel very tired, going to see a movie, "love". The film was written real human nature, the most essential humanity, cutting off all the naked human nature. In the movie, I was dumbfounded laughter several times, not for fun, wry smile, also shed tears several times. Love is very important, it can sustain life, prolong life, in fact it is life itself.
People always like to cross-examine the significance of life, art also, artist is even more so. What is the real feelings? Truth love? Sincere? These days, I also had more experience. First from mountain began, saw the male and female mountain, the natural nature. The male and female, not pictographic, is the weather, can be inclusive, and weather can given. Seen the cloud of Yin and Yang, the two sides of the rain, the male and female of the tree, all of the mirror image, and maybe it is the essence of the world, these are learned in the hills. When flying to the clouds, what you see in fact is not our ability to picture, can see, but not thoroughly, so I especially want to be personally on the scene, flying out of machine, and fusing with true nature. Going to parachute? Haven't been this consideration.
People are to be dying, the protagonists in "love", every day they are confronted with this problem, because awakening, let them feel the life more meaningful, also because despair, let them feel the life helpless. The director will use lens to push people as far as with the mountains as a whole. There are three times beautiful big panorama, the first is in the morning, cloud and mist curl up; the twist is in the noon, forceful far; the last is in the evening, beautiful vicissitudes of life; It seems there is night. When people drowned in the mountains, the visual experience is the movie giving, a bystander perspective. I often wonder when we see distant scenery, everything seems to have been set, I saw them, I also think I was there.
The new plan produced, going to somewhere far away, climbing higher mountain, experience more empty life, deep life.
To climb behavior going to distant snow mountain, plateau, I can't have too much understanding, think they are risk taker, body is good. Because the body is good so they want to climb higher peak, today suddenly understand, climbing and body is irrelevant, it is the test of wills thoughts. Climbing is not climb mountains, climbing is ideal.
My dream has always been the space travelling, now the ideal seems recently be Kilimanjaro, once thinking it I feel especially powerful. Don't know why, this desire is so strong.