生命的影子

    艺术家/何癸锐

我的刻纸作品《影子系列17》 75x60  2010年  纸

    有样东西，一辈子都扔不掉，它像幽灵一样，来来去去，却不留下半点痕迹。它能刻画了我人生的轨迹，它能点击我脑海中的记忆碎片……它——就是我的影子。有我的影子在旁，我从不孤单。
    半夜的灯和梦一起醒来，凄清的灯，将影子拉得很长很长….。我欲试试流浪。独自的，抛弃关爱，抛弃信仰，抛弃理由，抛弃真理。我带上上帝赋予的身躯，拖着受累的灵魂。在黄色的土地上，走出属于自己的天空。当晨曦的第一丝阳光刺痛我的眼睛，我便开始奔跑，追逐影子……，人和影子，站在苍白光芒的对岸…. 找寻起航的方向。每个清晨，我随它而出，每个黄昏，我着随它而归。他不会说，不会听，不会呼吸。它也和我一样，和我一般长大，它默默地记录在我的脑海里，有的模糊，有的清晰……
    也许我们并不在意影子的出现或者离去。可，他确实是来过；可，他确实是走了。这来去之间，经历了生活的平淡，复杂，开心，悲伤，风口浪尖，如履平地。
    生命降临在灯或太阳的璀璨里，那光明的源头倾注了，也复制出另一个生命，永远跟了这初生的命运，而行走，而驻留。那便是光明所未穿透的屏障，而投映于大地的、生命的影子。这影子是生命的一半，天地给的阳寿是另一半；对接这一撇一捺，便是完整的“人”。影子是心灵的剖白。是我生命历程断断续续记下的札记，它相伴了我的许多岁月。不知是在迷糊的梦里还是在清醒的脑海里，我的影子一直浮现着，经历让我学会了坚强面对，找回以往忽略的自己，走出了尘封的心灵，走出了紧锁的思维。思绪已在深邃的长空里，挂着了天边的启明。当寂寞的时候，低头看看，原来还有个不胜言语的自己一直跟着。有阳光的地方，你就在我身后不离不弃。黑暗之中，我千百次回眸，你却无影无踪。如此循环如此反复，我是影子，影子是我。
    何癸锐    2011

    Shadow of Life
    By: He Guirui (creator of etching shown below)

My etching: The Shadows (17th work; 75x60; paper produced in 2010)

    There is something that I can never get rid of throughout my whole life. It comes and goes like a ghost without leaving any trace. It constitutes the trajectory of life, triggering fragments of my memory. It is my shadow. I never feel lonely with my shadow alongside. 
　　Waking up from midnight dreams amid the dim lamp light, I see only my stretched shadow. I attempt to roam about, leaving all love, brief, reasons and truth behind. I drag along with the body endowed by God, in which lives the tortured soul, finally finding my own fragment of sky over the yellow plain.  When the dawning ray enters my eyes, I start running after the shadow, searching for the point from which I can embark on my own journey. Everyday I go out with it in the morning and come back with it in dusk.  It does not speak, listen or breathe, but grows with me, being quietly carved in my memory, although sometimes clearly and sometimes vague.   
　　Shadow appears and disappears whether we care about it or not. In the moments between its appearance and disappearance, we have experienced ups and downs, happiness, sadness, dullness or excitement, as if walking on firm earth.
    When a child is born amidst the light of sun or lamp, he is blessed by brightness and at the same time, also gives birth to another life that tie in his destiny. This is his shadow, his projected image on earth, the barrier which ray never manages to pierce through. It is another half of life bestowed by heaven and earth which matches with our physical being. As reflection of the soul, shadow keeps me accompanied through the best and worst of times recording the fragmental traces of my journey. It is always there in the dreamy confusion or outright sobriety, teaching me how to face the music, regain ego and break through the spirit shackles, and directing me to dawn through the darkness of the night. In times of loneliness, I bow to find the loyal shadow that soothes without saying anything. It never misses me in the daytime but secretly hides from my glances in the darkness. It is a game that goes on and on keeping my shadow apart from me. 
    He Guirui, 2010